Ruth's father, Tony Crowe, passed away peacefully in his sleep on Thursday night. He was 85 years old.
We knew it was coming, and in fact there is a bit of a feeling of relief that it has now happened. Of course it's still sad, but he had no quality of life the last year or so. If any of you have ever dealt with a family member with Alzheimer's disease, then you know that it doesn't get better... only worse. And the worst part of it is that many people can hang on for many years while their minds and eventually their bodies slowly disintegrate.
He was admitted to hospital two weeks ago, and we kind of figured he wouldn't be coming out. We were told on Wednesday by the palliative care doctor that he might have 72 hours left, and he passed away the next night. Ruth's brother and sister had visited him that evening, but he didn't seem aware of their presence.
Tony as a boy.
So if there's a bright side to this, at least he went fairly quickly. And we were fortunate that we saw him regularly during our time there in September and early October.
We all know that death is part of life, and after all, he had a pretty good life. 85 years is decently long, and considering he smoked cigarettes for about 60 of those years he did pretty well. If you would have told us 20 years ago that he would make it to 85, we wouldn't have believed you!
Mary on Tony on their honeymoon in London, England in 1957.
(Ruth's mom Mary passed away 11 years ago).
We both had a laugh at the very last photo that we took with her dad...
Kevin, Tony, and Ruth.
That photo will sure bring back memories of the times were were living in during his final weeks.
We are not going back to Canada at this time. There's really no point. You can't have any kind of proper service, and Ruth's brother and sister are there to look after final details. We will return in May as planned and hopefully have a memorial service of some kind then.
And life goes on for the rest of us.
Yesterday, we took a drive into the national park that is beside where we are staying. There is a 21 lira ($3.60 CAD, $2.75 USD) entrance fee for a car.
The water is so clear.
There are quite a few hiking and biking trails within the park, but we didn't come prepared for doing a long hike. We walked a couple of kms into one trail, enough to want to return another day. And we did a couple of shorter beach walks.
Out for a walk in Dilek Peninsula-Büyük Menderes Delta National Park.
Pretty flowers.
I thought the roots of this big tree were so cool!
And so was this small cave.
The map showed that the road in the park goes in a circular route along the coast and then inland on the other side of the mountains. And it does... but we got to a point not really that far in where there's a gate and it's not open to the public. Too bad. So we went down to the beach access areas on the return.
This beach was all made up of flat round skipping stones!
Ruth, playing with the skipping stones.
We sat and enjoyed the moment for a half an hour.
Turn up your volume so you can hear the waves.
A few fishermen trying their luck.
Did I mention that the weather is perfect?
Looking across to the nearby Greek island of Samos.
Scenery along the way.
Today, we are going for a hike in the hills of the park, but we are accessing it through a path in behind the apartment buildings on the side of the hill where we are staying.
We have now walked a total distance of 225.1 kms (139.6 miles) in Turkey.
So very sorry for your loss. Same here ~ mom & dad ~ mid 80's Altzheimer's, but longer struggle. Peace, love and many happy memories to heal your heart & bring a smile to your face.
Thank you very much Barb in Fl. It seems that Alzeimer's seems to be hitting more and more people. My Mum also went through it for about 6 or 7 years before it finally took her, it is so sad to have gone through it again with my father. We are sorry that you had to deal with it as well with both of your parents.
You are correct, knowing they are at peace and having that special love and memories with get us through this. I will cherish all the memories of have of them both.
Thank you very much, we are glad that we had that extra time with him as well over the summer and early fall. Those memories and many more will be cherished.
So very sorry for your loss. But wonderful photos to remember him with! You're very fortunate you were able to spend some time with him recently. Changing subjects, wasn't that Greek island the epicenter of the recent earthquake?
Thank you very much. I definitely have lots of pictures and memories of my Dad, I will cherish them always. Yes, we were so happy to have two and a half months with him this summer and early fall.
Yes, Samos was the epicenter of that recent earthquake. We are really surprised to not see any damage from it in this area, for some reason it seems that Izmir got the brunt of it.
Thank you Karen. We did have a lovely time with my Dad and he sure enjoyed the time too. I had a feeling when we said goodbye to him in October as we embarked on this trip that, that might be the last time I would see him but I never expected him to leave us that quickly. :-(
Alzheimer's is a terrible disease, not that there is a good disease out there but it actually feels like you lose you loved one twice. Once when the mind and spirit is taken and then again when the person actually dies. :-(
Thank you Les. He did have a great life up until the last few years. He was a loving and caring man and that has been passed down to us, his children. We have many things to thank him for and many memories that will keep him alive in our minds and our hearts.
Very sorry to hear about your dad, Ruth. Both my parents are in their mid 90s and fortunately with sharp minds. My grnadmother howeve rhad alzheimers so I know all about its impact.
We are also very happy to have had that time with him this summer and early fall, it makes me feel a better knowing that I have those memories of him and they will be cherished.
So sorry for your loss Ruth. Sending our sympathy and condolences. From your stories, your dad had a well lived and successful life and raised a wonderful family. His legacy will remain in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved him. He will be missed but not forgotten. May he Rest In Peace.
He worked hard and made a good life for himself and his family and he brought us up with good morals and lots of love which have been passed on down to the following generations. We are proud of him and what he achieve as much as he was proud of us. He will never be forgotten.
You are totally right, and that is easy to do because we had so many good times with him. We have lots of pictures and lots of memories to fill our hearts with joy rather than sorrow. Thank you for your kind words.
Our condolences for the loss of your dad and now both parents are gone. I found that a very strange feeling. Besides, it was the best thing what could happen to him. Better than getting caught by the corona virus. And you had done the best you could do. Spent a lot of time with him in the last weeks when you were in Canada and took so good care of his home. This must give you a good feeling after all.
Thank you Angi. Yes, I had thought about that too and it does feel strange, it is going to take some getting used to. Agreed, I am glad that we didn't lose him to the Corona Virus and I know that now he is in a better place. His last six months have not been good ones for him, he really seemed to lose his joy of life and in turn he lost that spirit that made him who he was. I am very thankful for that time we got to spend with him this summer and early fall, it does help the hurt somewhat. I have many good memories of him and I will hold on to them and cherish them always.
When my dad passed from complications of Alzheimers in May 2019, I didn't travel to his memorial. I said my goodbyes in private and that was enough for me. So sorry to hear of your loss. You are correct though, life must go on.
I feel bad for not being there but under the present circumstances it just doesn't make sense to go back. There is nothing else that I can do and we can't have any kind of service for him at the moment so it just makes sense to stay put. I am ever so thankful that we got to see him and spent time with him this past summer and early fall, so that really helps knowing that I at least saw him recently. In May when we go back we will have a nice memorial service for him and I will be able to help my brother and sister sort out the remaining things in the house and we can reminiscence about all the good times that we had with both my Dad and my Mum. Yep, life goes on and I would rather go on with good memories then to dwell on the bad.
Very sorry for the loss of your Dad, Ruth. My MIL passed of Alzheimer's at age 87 while we were in Mexico, and my husband also did not attempt to travel back for the service. There was really no point, and as you say, under the circumstances, it was a relief. She also passed peacefully in her sleep. That is about the best way to go that any of us can hope for. Really glad you got to see him when you were in Canada this time, even under COVID restrictions. xoxo
At this point you are right, there isn't really a point in going back, there is also nothing that I can do other than to be there with both my brother and my sister, which I am missing at this time but with COVID still in the game, I would still have to quarantine for two weeks and there would also be no service for my Dad at this point. It was a relief that he went fast and quietly and I know that he will be at peace now. His last six months weren't good ones for him and COVID didn't help with that.
I am so happy that we got to spend some good quality time with him when we were back in Ottawa and knowing that really helps make this whole process a little easier. I will look back on those times with fondness and I will cherish those memories.
So sorry your father died. Very glad you saw him in Canada. Have just caught up with you and love how quickly and cleanly you changed plans and ended up in a great country to explore. The water looks gorgeous and your accomadations have been so nice and the weather is a delight. AND you avoided COVID-- you two are champs. Best Wishes Carol
Thank you very much. We are really happy that we saw him and spent some quality time with him when we were back in Ottawa, having those memories of him certainly are helping me now.
The water is so clear and so blue, definitely gorgeous looking. Our accommodations have been very nice, clean and affordable and our weather has been perfect.
I wouldn't say that we have avoided COVID as it is still very much present here in Turkey, we are taking all the precautions necessary to stay safe but we are always aware that it is around.
Very sorry for your loss but understand how it is best for them bo be at peace now. My mom died after a long struggle with dementia last year. I was so happy for her. She wouldn't have wanted to live like that. Peace be to both of you.
Thank you very much for your kind words. As hard as it is, is was the best thing for him. Both Kevin and I have said that we would never want to live that kind of life. My Dad was doing OK with his Alzheimer's up until about six months ago and I think that was when it was getting the better of him and that is when he really seemed to turn, I don't think he wanted to live like that either.
I will cherish the memories of my Dad and I will always keep them close to my heart. I will miss him terribly but I am happy to know that he will be at peace and will once again be with my Mum.
Ruth's dad was a good looking fellow, guess he passed his gene's, and maybe his jeans, to a pretty lady Ruth... My wife got nailed with the disease @ 68.....Was her final year with us... Life goes on..Hopefully.. 10" of Cascade Concrete here and more falling...30*... Take Care...eh?
My Dad was a good looking, especially in his younger years, my Mum was lucky to have snagged him.
So sorry that your wife was also a victim to this horrible disease, 68 is still so young. I think my Mum was about 72 or 73 when she was diagnosed with it. I am happy that you wife didn't have to suffer with it too long but sad for you that you lost her so soon.
Sorry to hear about your Dad’s passing Ruth. Nice that you got to see him this past summer. Was glad that Kevin put the heading on the photo of you throwing stones at the beach. It looked like you were trying out some new age dance moves LOL!
We were glad that we got to see him and spend some quality time with him this past summer and early fall as well. I have some nice memories from that visit that I will cherish forever.
So very sorry for your loss. Same here ~ mom & dad ~ mid 80's Altzheimer's, but longer struggle. Peace, love and many happy memories to heal your heart & bring a smile to your face.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Barb in Fl. It seems that Alzeimer's seems to be hitting more and more people. My Mum also went through it for about 6 or 7 years before it finally took her, it is so sad to have gone through it again with my father. We are sorry that you had to deal with it as well with both of your parents.
DeleteYou are correct, knowing they are at peace and having that special love and memories with get us through this. I will cherish all the memories of have of them both.
So sorry for your loss,glad you had some time with him before he passed.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, we are glad that we had that extra time with him as well over the summer and early fall. Those memories and many more will be cherished.
DeleteOur deepest condolences on the loss of Ruth’s father. May he Rest In Peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Erin.
DeleteSo very sorry for your loss. But wonderful photos to remember him with! You're very fortunate you were able to spend some time with him recently. Changing subjects, wasn't that Greek island the epicenter of the recent earthquake?
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I definitely have lots of pictures and memories of my Dad, I will cherish them always. Yes, we were so happy to have two and a half months with him this summer and early fall.
DeleteYes, Samos was the epicenter of that recent earthquake. We are really surprised to not see any damage from it in this area, for some reason it seems that Izmir got the brunt of it.
🙏🙏🙏 prayers for you and your family
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteSo sorry for your loss. It seemed you were having a lovely time with Tony, getting him out and about, while you were on home ground. RIP.
ReplyDeleteThank you Karen. We did have a lovely time with my Dad and he sure enjoyed the time too. I had a feeling when we said goodbye to him in October as we embarked on this trip that, that might be the last time I would see him but I never expected him to leave us that quickly. :-(
DeleteOur deepest Condolences on Tony's passing.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad how Alzheimer's robs those close of a quality of life.
May he rest in peace.
Thank you Rick and Kathy.
DeleteAlzheimer's is a terrible disease, not that there is a good disease out there but it actually feels like you lose you loved one twice. Once when the mind and spirit is taken and then again when the person actually dies. :-(
Very sorry for your loss..what a life he had and an amazing family..les
ReplyDeleteThank you Les. He did have a great life up until the last few years. He was a loving and caring man and that has been passed down to us, his children. We have many things to thank him for and many memories that will keep him alive in our minds and our hearts.
DeleteSo sorry for your loss Ruth and Kevin.
ReplyDeleteVery sorry to hear about your dad, Ruth. Both my parents are in their mid 90s and fortunately with sharp minds. My grnadmother howeve rhad alzheimers so I know all about its impact.
ReplyDeleteThank you Paul.
DeleteYou are very lucky to have both your parents still alive and in their 90's and with sharp minds, they must be doing something right.
So sorry for your loss but pleased you had so much quality time with Tony while you were there. I continue to love your time in Turkey. Trish
ReplyDeleteThank you Trish.
DeleteWe are also very happy to have had that time with him this summer and early fall, it makes me feel a better knowing that I have those memories of him and they will be cherished.
So sorry for your loss Ruth. Sending our sympathy and condolences. From your stories, your dad had a well lived and successful life and raised a wonderful family. His legacy will remain in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved him. He will be missed but not forgotten. May he Rest In Peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lynnette.
DeleteHe worked hard and made a good life for himself and his family and he brought us up with good morals and lots of love which have been passed on down to the following generations. We are proud of him and what he achieve as much as he was proud of us. He will never be forgotten.
Remember the good times. That helps during the sad times. Thank you for sharing your wonder trip. Prayers for your family.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally right, and that is easy to do because we had so many good times with him. We have lots of pictures and lots of memories to fill our hearts with joy rather than sorrow. Thank you for your kind words.
DeleteOur condolences for the loss of your dad and now both parents are gone. I found that a very strange feeling. Besides, it was the best thing what could happen to him. Better than getting caught by the corona virus.
ReplyDeleteAnd you had done the best you could do. Spent a lot of time with him in the last weeks when you were in Canada and took so good care of his home. This must give you a good feeling after all.
Thank you Angi. Yes, I had thought about that too and it does feel strange, it is going to take some getting used to. Agreed, I am glad that we didn't lose him to the Corona Virus and I know that now he is in a better place. His last six months have not been good ones for him, he really seemed to lose his joy of life and in turn he lost that spirit that made him who he was. I am very thankful for that time we got to spend with him this summer and early fall, it does help the hurt somewhat. I have many good memories of him and I will hold on to them and cherish them always.
DeleteWhen my dad passed from complications of Alzheimers in May 2019, I didn't travel to his memorial. I said my goodbyes in private and that was enough for me. So sorry to hear of your loss. You are correct though, life must go on.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for not being there but under the present circumstances it just doesn't make sense to go back. There is nothing else that I can do and we can't have any kind of service for him at the moment so it just makes sense to stay put. I am ever so thankful that we got to see him and spent time with him this past summer and early fall, so that really helps knowing that I at least saw him recently. In May when we go back we will have a nice memorial service for him and I will be able to help my brother and sister sort out the remaining things in the house and we can reminiscence about all the good times that we had with both my Dad and my Mum. Yep, life goes on and I would rather go on with good memories then to dwell on the bad.
DeleteVery sorry for the loss of your Dad, Ruth. My MIL passed of Alzheimer's at age 87 while we were in Mexico, and my husband also did not attempt to travel back for the service. There was really no point, and as you say, under the circumstances, it was a relief. She also passed peacefully in her sleep. That is about the best way to go that any of us can hope for. Really glad you got to see him when you were in Canada this time, even under COVID restrictions. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you Emily.
DeleteAt this point you are right, there isn't really a point in going back, there is also nothing that I can do other than to be there with both my brother and my sister, which I am missing at this time but with COVID still in the game, I would still have to quarantine for two weeks and there would also be no service for my Dad at this point. It was a relief that he went fast and quietly and I know that he will be at peace now. His last six months weren't good ones for him and COVID didn't help with that.
I am so happy that we got to spend some good quality time with him when we were back in Ottawa and knowing that really helps make this whole process a little easier. I will look back on those times with fondness and I will cherish those memories.
So sorry your father died. Very glad you saw him in Canada. Have just caught up with you and love how quickly and cleanly you changed plans and ended up in a great country to explore. The water looks gorgeous and your accomadations have been so nice and the weather is a delight. AND you avoided COVID-- you two are champs. Best Wishes Carol
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. We are really happy that we saw him and spent some quality time with him when we were back in Ottawa, having those memories of him certainly are helping me now.
DeleteThe water is so clear and so blue, definitely gorgeous looking. Our accommodations have been very nice, clean and affordable and our weather has been perfect.
I wouldn't say that we have avoided COVID as it is still very much present here in Turkey, we are taking all the precautions necessary to stay safe but we are always aware that it is around.
Very sorry for your loss but understand how it is best for them bo be at peace now. My mom died after a long struggle with dementia last year. I was so happy for her. She wouldn't have wanted to live like that. Peace be to both of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your kind words. As hard as it is, is was the best thing for him. Both Kevin and I have said that we would never want to live that kind of life. My Dad was doing OK with his Alzheimer's up until about six months ago and I think that was when it was getting the better of him and that is when he really seemed to turn, I don't think he wanted to live like that either.
DeleteI will cherish the memories of my Dad and I will always keep them close to my heart. I will miss him terribly but I am happy to know that he will be at peace and will once again be with my Mum.
Ruth's dad was a good looking fellow, guess he passed his gene's, and maybe his jeans, to a pretty lady Ruth...
ReplyDeleteMy wife got nailed with the disease @ 68.....Was her final year with us...
Life goes on..Hopefully..
10" of Cascade Concrete here and more falling...30*...
Take Care...eh?
My Dad was a good looking, especially in his younger years, my Mum was lucky to have snagged him.
DeleteSo sorry that your wife was also a victim to this horrible disease, 68 is still so young. I think my Mum was about 72 or 73 when she was diagnosed with it. I am happy that you wife didn't have to suffer with it too long but sad for you that you lost her so soon.
Enjoy that snow, while we enjoy the sand.
Condolences to Ruth and Kevin. Your Father was a good looking man. Just looking at him, I sense he was a gentle soul...May he RIP. Rawn
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Rawn!
DeleteHe was a good looking man and he was a kind and generous person. He will be missed by many.
Sorry to hear about your Dad’s passing Ruth. Nice that you got to see him this past summer. Was glad that Kevin put the heading on the photo of you throwing stones at the beach. It looked like you were trying out some new age dance moves LOL!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteWe were glad that we got to see him and spend some quality time with him this past summer and early fall as well. I have some nice memories from that visit that I will cherish forever.
sorry for your loss Ruth , but he is up there with other angels we lost this year
ReplyDeleteThank you Betty! Yes, I am sure he is and with the angels that we lost years ago.
DeleteOur condolences.
ReplyDeleteThank you Nickie and Jim.
DeleteMy condolences for your loss
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss - never easy. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ryshia. No, it is never easy. :-(
Delete